Family Duties of the Muslim

  

‘All of you are guardians and all of you are responsible for your subjects. A man is the guardian in his home and responsible for his wards and a woman in her home is a guardian and responsible for her wards.’ ---Prophet Muhammad (sa) [Reported by Al-Bukhari in his Sahih, Chapter: Friday prayer in villages and towns, 1/248-249: Hadith 893].

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‘Indeed Allah will question everyone who is responsible about his charge, whether kept or lost.’ [Reported by Al-Tirmidhi in his Sunan, Book of Jihad, Chapter: Regarding the imam, 4/208, on the authority of Anas ibn Malik]. 

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‘Being Fair in Family Relations’

  

‘Truly many intimate partners/close associates transgress against one another, save those who believe and perform righteous deeds. And yet, how few are they!’ (Holy Qur’an, 38:25)

'The just will be on platforms of light in the presence of God; those who are just in their decisions, with their families, and with what they are in charge of.' --Holy Prophet Muhammad (sa). 

 

The structure of a Muslim family, in general, at the minimum, involves the husband and wife, their children and their parents. Within this basic social unit, the dynamics of family/household relations can test the best of men and women, especially when mother-in law and the daughter-in law in the family do not get along well. With different temperaments and inclinations, preferences and prejudices; conditions and circumstances emerge on aspects of everyday life whereby differences of opinion lead to conflictual positions.  If not handled with care with wisdom respecting the emotions of all involved in a fair way in quick time [before the hardening of feelings among the persons concerned]; inexorably and inevitably, the issues can lead to simmering tensions, even domestic abuse and violence. And when the discord becomes irreconcilable, the very breaking up of family relations ensue- as it happens these days with so many families in our societies.

An anecdote from early Muslim history suggests that during the time of the second caliph Hazrat Umar (ra), he apparently wrote to his governors saying: ‘Tell relatives to visit one another, and not to live next to one another.’ Commenting on Hazrat ‘Umar’s words, Imam Al-Ghazzali said:  ‘He said that because living next to one another may lead to conflicts and may lead to alienation and severing of ties.’ [Ihya’ ‘Uloom al-Deen (2/216)]. According to another saintly figure in Islam, ‘If you live further away from one another you will have greater love for one another.’ 

Our Covenant with God

 

In theory, a social contract binds the State and the citizen; defining nature of relations, prescribing rules of engagement, and allocating the rights and duties of the Parties involved. In our societies, the basic social unit of family and kingship is also rooted in marriage contracts between husbands and wives; like the Qur’an reminds: “they have taken from you a firm and solemn covenant (by marriage)” (4:22). Similarly, the Qur’an speaks of humanity’s covenant with God through history: an original covenant that prescribes duties that we owe to God and to fellow beings, in return for Divine approval and rewards in this world and the world to come. In the Divine scheme of things under the covenant, those who refuse to respect the terms of engagement by leading a Godless life in this world, and those who ignore His warnings and go on to persecute His believing servants are the real law-breakers, and they are condemned to severe punishment, as per the Will of Allah (swt).

 

Human servitude to the Lord Almighty

Islam teaches us that Allah (swt), the Creator and Sustainer of all the worlds, raised humans with a certain purpose of life, and through Revelations sent via prophets and messengers, He granted clear guidance on how best to spend our days in this world. The Creator, in His infinite kindness, imprinted all human souls with a deep yearning in quest of Him, and the human heart and mind are designed to be truly inclined to recognize the Lord; an intuitive capacity is ingrained in all persons to observe and reflect and recognize and understand the beauty and wisdom of His revelations sent through the prophets and the sages; to find peace and tranquillity by being mindful of His commandments. The Qur’an says: ‘And when your Lord took from the children of Adam, from their loins, their progeny and made them bear witness concerning themselves, “Am I not your Lord Who sustains you?” They said, “Yea, surely, we bear witness (to it and acknowledge it).” (7:173)