In the Hadith books of Imam Bukhari and Muslim as well as in Mishkaat, there is a lengthy Hadith of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) narrated by Ibn Umar (ra). In this Hadith three people are mentioned. They were on a journey when they were caught up in heavy rain. They took refuge in a cave. A huge boulder rolled and blocked the cave-entrance, cutting off their escape from the cave. The three decided to supplicate to Allah (twt) on the basis of some deeds which they had done with the greatest of sincerity. The deed which one of the three offered to Allah (twt) as his basis of supplication was about his aged parents and little children. He implored Allah (twt) in the following way: “O Allah! My parents were old and I used to go out for grazing (my animals). On my return I would milk (the animals) and take the milk in a vessel to my parents to drink. After they had drunk from it, I would give it to my children, family and wife. One day I was delayed and on my return I found my parents sleeping, and I disliked waking them up. The children were crying at my feet. That state of affairs continued till it was dawn. O Allah! If You regard that I did it for Your sake, then please remove this rock so that we may see the sky.” So, the rock was moved a bit.
This Hadith in meaning is similar to the incident of Abu
Talha (ra) and his guest as mentioned in another Hadith reported in Bukhari and
Muslim. When a poor man approached the Messenger of Allah (pbuh), he asked one
of his wives, or sent a message to all his wives, to see if there was anything to
provide for the hungry poor man. She/ They replied that there was nothing to
eat except water to drink. Then the Holy Prophet (pbuh) turned to his
companions who were with him and repeated the request by adding that Allah’s
mercy will be with the one who entertain that guest. So, an Ansari, by the name
of Abu Talha stood up and offered hospitality to the man, and when he reached
his home, he asked his wife [Umme Suleim] if there was anything to eat, and the
latter replied that only the food for their children remained. In other words,
even for the two of them – husband and wife, there was no food. So, he asked
her to put the children to sleep so that the food could be served to the guest.
That Hadith is a special one as of all the Hadiths which
have been reported, there is the mention of the Laugh of Allah; His jovial
pleasure at the sight of the sacrifices of Abu Talha and his wife, and how they
went about to provide food for the guest [by extinguishing the lamp] so that he
may not know that his hosts are not eating with him. On the contrary, he
thought that they were eating along with him as they were making sounds of
eating in the dark. When morning came, Hazrat Muhammad (pbuh) was smiling and
announced the good news of Allah’s great pleasure for the exceptional act that
both of these companions [husband and wife] had done, and the following verse
was revealed:
They give them [i.e. the emigrants
(Muhajireen) preference over themselves, even if they too were in need of that.
And whosoever is saved from the avarice of his self, such are they who will be
successful. (Al-Hashr, 59: 10)
In this Hadith it is clear that Abu Talha, considering the
hunger of his children, did not let them felt deprived by making his wife put
them to sleep earlier so that hunger pangs may not afflict them. Though he and
his wife were also deprived of food that night while being fully conscious,
unlike the children, they went ahead to serve the guest of Allah and His
Messenger (pbuh) in an exemplary way.
From the verse of the Holy Quran and the Hadith, it is
clear that (1) the guest was a Muhajir (emigrant) from Mecca, (2) Abu
Talha and his wives and children were themselves needy and lacked food in the
house like the case of the houses of the Holy Prophet (pbuh), the perfect role
model for mankind, as well as in the cases of the other companions of the
Prophet of Allah (pbuh). But despite their state of deprivation and hunger,
they welcomed the guest of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) in the hope of gaining
the pleasure of Allah as well as the pleasure of the Holy Prophet Muhammad
(pbuh), and indeed Allah and His Messenger were very pleased with this
exceptional sacrifice. It was so beautiful and the plan to serve the guest was
so cute that Allah Himself is reported to have laughed at the situation.
So, here the question which arises: what about the
children? As heirs of Abu Talha and his blood, did they not have the right to
the food which was initially reserved for them?
If we look at it in terms of rights, they had every right,
but if we look at it in another perspective, we see that Abu Talha did not
invite the guest on his own when he knew the state of affairs at home, and even
if he did not know, he presented himself as host for the pleasure of Allah. He
responded to the call of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) who promised divine
mercy for the one who will respond “Labbaik” (Here I am) to his call.
Allah has stated: “Say, ‘If
your parents, your children, your siblings, your spouses, your close relatives,
the wealth which you have acquired, a business you fear may decline and the
homes you cherish are dearer to you than God and His messenger, and striving in
His cause, then just wait until God brings about His command. God does not
guide the wicked people’.” (At-Tauba, 9: 24)
Moreover, Anas and Abu Huraira (ra) reported that the
Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: “None of you will attain perfect faith until
I am more beloved to him than his child, his parent, and all people.”
(Bukhari)
We see that in the times of the advent of a Messenger of
Allah, a Representative [Khalifa] of Allah, who comes with the Ruh’il
Quddus (Holy Spirit), Allah and His Messenger has precedence over a Muslim
than his near and dear ones.
This does not mean that the parents, wife and children of a
Muslim do not have any right. In normal times, under all circumstances except
with the appearance of a Messenger, due care should be given to see to it that
the rights of the parents as well as the spouse and children are respected. If
someone has the responsibility of his parents in old age, he should see to it
that the rights of his parents are respected, as well as the rights of his wife
and children.
There are some commentators who have talked lengthily on
the subject, and I want to share with you their opinions.
In Darrul Mukhtaar it is stated that the right of one’s
little children has priority over the right of one’s parents. It is said: “A
man had living both his father and little son. The right of the child has
priority over the right of the father in regard to expenditure. Some have said
that they should spend equally on both.”
The parents and children’s rights should not be trampled.
There should be a balance prevailing on the situation witnessed. In regards to
expenditure, the one who has the responsibility of his old parents (along with
the contributions of his siblings also who are the own children of these
parents) should partake in taking care of his parents (along with his siblings,
if any).
The value of parents is unquestionably great, but so are
the children of the believer who rely on their father or mother or both to
cater for their basic needs and to fulfill their licit desires, such desires
which are in line with the requirements of Islam and get the pleasure of Allah.
Now, if, for example, the eye-glasses of a parent are
broken and the parent is needy himself or herself and relies on the mercy and
love of his or her child to buy him or her a new pair of eye-glasses, and if at
the same time the believer’s son or daughter is making repeated tantrums to buy
some new toys for him or her (something which is not absolutely necessary) then
in terms of preference and if the believer cannot please both at the same time
due to lack of finance, then the needy parent should be given preference.
In Kitaabul Aathaar, Imam Muhammad (ra) said that a father
may eat from the earnings of his son if he (i.e. the father) is in need
provided that he does not waste. If the father is wealthy and takes from the
property of the son anything, he (the father) will be indebted to the son. This
is also the view of Imam Abu Hanifah (ra). Imam Muhammad (ra) narrates that
Imam Abu Hanifah (ra) said: “Hammaad (ra) narrates from Ibrahim (ra) that
the father has no right in the wealth of his son other than food and clothing
if he (the father) is in need”.
Now, in case the child is also in need of a thing which he
requires, for example, books for his studies, and at the same time the father
of the believer requires eye-glasses without which he cannot see, then this
time also preference should be given to the father as this is a vital organ and
basic need which can handicap his everyday life. As for the child, alternate
solutions can be found in that which he can borrow those books from friends and
do photocopies of the pages needs, which would not be as costly as buying a
brand new book.
Hakim and others narrate: “Verily, your children are
gifts from Allah unto you; he bestows female children to whomever He pleases.
Their wealth is for you (parents) if you are in need.” (Kanzul Ummal)
This Hadith indeed teaches us a return to sources. The
parents from birth till adulthood take care of their child. When the child is
mature enough to earn a living and marry and have his own children, then the
needy parents who count on the financial stability, mercy and love of their
child have every right to partake in his wealth to cater for their basic needs,
such as food, shelter, clothing, necessary items (such as eye-glasses), etc.
They spent the wealth of their love, time, and money on their child, and now
when the latter has come of age to stand on his two feet and take the
responsibility of his own family, he should not forget his parents and see to
it that all their basic needs are fulfilled and that they are pleased with him.
Thus, this Hadith, indicates the fact that the father has a
right in the wealth of his children only in times of need and to the extent of
need. The statement of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh), in other words, “when
you are in need,” clarifies this. Thus, it will be a debt on the father
[unless, of course, this something has been gifted to the father – this will
not be a debt but considered a gift].
Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddiq (ra) also explained in the same way
the following Hadith of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh): “You and your wealth
belong to your father.” He (ra) stated that this refers to necessary
expenditure for the parents when they are in need. (Baihaqi)
So, in terms of finance, a child, especially the son has double
responsibility in taking care of his parents. By saying so, the daughter also
should help her brother/s, if they are more than two siblings. The parents are
hers as well, and her parents contributed more than she can ever pay back for
her upbringing. So, parents who have no means after some time [in old age or
even before when their children is fully mature] should be taken care by their
children, and these children should not refuse to help those parents under
hollow excuses and they should strive to hold the hands of their parents [i.e.
take care of them] when old age and need have overcome them. It is the circle
of life to which all individuals should abide for therein resides the
equilibrium of the family unit in Islam.
I stop here for today. As it is a vast and importance
subject, I will continue to expound on the subject next Friday, Insha-Allah.
May Allah accept our sacrifices for His cause, and inspire the Muslim Ummah to
respect the rights of all members of their families to the limits ordained by
Allah and His Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (pbuh). Insha-Allah. Ameen.
----Friday Sermon of 26 August 2022 ~27 Muharram 1444 AH delivered by Imam- Jamaat Ul Sahih Al Islam Hazrat Muhyiuddin Al Khalifatullah Munir A. Azim (aba) of Mauritius.