Man is a social being. Just living requires the recognition of the duties we owe to others, just as we seek to exercise our own individual and other social rights in the community. Islam provides a range of teachings that address the fine balance of rights and duties to be achieved in society as well as in family; in our relations with parents, spouse/s, children, other members of the clan. In this series of special discourses, Imam- Jamaat Ul Sahih Al Islam Hazrat Muhyiuddin Al Khalifatullah Munir Ahmad Azim (aba) of Mauritius comprehensively explains the vital considerations of justice, compassion and benevolence the Holy Prophet of Islam (sa) took into account while giving shape to the interpretation of rights and duties in social contexts. Read the Part 4 of this series, Friday Sermon of 02 September 2022 ~04 Safar 1444 AH below:
Fulfilling the Rights of Fellow Muslims
Alhamdulillah, Summa Alhamdulillah, I continue today the subject of my sermon on the rights of our fellow Muslims, especially the rights of the parents, and to what limit should they be obeyed, and the rights of one’s own child and spouse in respect of obedience to parents.
Returning to the same example which I cited before you last
week, in terms of priority in catering for either the necessary and urgent
needs of either the father or the son when finance is limited, then in the case
of both the father and the son needing glasses to see, then, the priority in
this case should be given to the child as the old father is confined to the
house while the youth has all his life and opportunities before him, in respect
to the seeking of knowledge, whether Deeni knowledge and academic knowledge,
and he needs the glasses more so that he can advance in life without any
difficulty [e.g. to go to school, seek knowledge etc.].
But if the believer has enough means to
cater for both the basic needs and rights of his parents and children, then he
should do so without fail. He should not give a secondary expense priority over
his parents and children, unless if it is for the cause of Allah, in the way of
Allah. Even in some situations, the Messenger of Allah Hazrat Muhammad (pbuh)
used to advise some of his companions to spend that which they were ready to
sacrifice in the way of Allah’s on their own children, and their other heirs.
An example of it is in the following narration which is reported by Anas bin
Malik (ra): “When the Holy Verse: “By no
means shall you attain Al-Birr (piety, righteousness, and it also it means here
Allah’s Reward i.e., Paradise), unless you spend of that which you love...”
(Al-Imran 3: 93) was revealed, Abu Talha went to Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) and
said, “O Messenger of Allah! Allah, the Blessed, the Superior stated in His
book: “By no means shall you attain Al-Birr, unless you spend of that which
you love...” (Al-Imran 3: 93) and the most beloved property to me is
Bairuha (which was a garden where the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) used to go to sit
in its shade and drink from its water). I give it to Allah and His Messenger
(pbuh) hoping for Allah’s Reward in the Hereafter. So, O Allah’s Messenger! Use
it as Allah orders you to use it.” The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “Bravo!
O Abu Talha, it is a fruitful property. We have accepted it from you and now we
return it to you. Distribute it amongst your relatives.” So, Abu Talha
distributed it amongst his relatives, amongst whom were Ubai and Hassan.”
(Bukhari)
Now, concerning Jihad, the following is recorded in
Darrul Mukhtaar: “Jihad is not obligatory [Fardh Ain – binding] on such
under-age and baaligh child (one who has attained the age of puberty) whose
both parents or one parent are/ is alive because service to them is obligatory,
nor is it permissible for such children to go on a journey in which there is
danger, except if they [i.e. the parents] give consent. If there is no danger
in the journey, they may go without permission. Among such journeys is the journey
in quest for knowledge.”
In Raddul Muhtaar it is said: “Parents have the right to
prevent their children from going on such journeys (which are dangerous) when
they will suffer great hardship by their children’s departure on such journeys.
This same rule is applicable even if parents happen to be non-believers.
However, if the non-believing parents prevent their (Muslim) children from the
Jihad which is being waged against their (the parents’) co-religionists, then
the children shall not obey their parents. But, if they (parents) are poor and
are dependent on their children, then they (children) will have to remain and
serve their parents, even if they are non-believers. The obligatory and binding
duty [Fardh Ain] will not be sacrificed for the sake of the Fardh Kifaayah (Jihad
is Fardh Kifaayah [i.e. a communal responsibility] and serving parents is Fardh
Ain [binding duty upon the believer]).
Dangerous journeys are those pertaining to Jihad and sea
voyages. If there is no danger in the journey then it is permissible to depart
on the journey without (their) permission except when great hardship will descend
on them if the children depart. If there is no danger in the journey then one
may go on journey for trade, Hajj and Umrah even without their permission.
Similarly, the permission will apply to a greater extent for a journey in pursuit
of knowledge (of the Deen).”
Now, let us see how the rights parents should not stampede
on the rights of the wife. The believer should know the limits of the rights of
parents and the limits of the rights of his wife as well, and how to balance
both rights without going against the commandments of Islam regarding their
rights.
In Darrul Mukhtaar, the following is recorded in the
chapter dealing with maintenance: “It is Waajib (upon the husband) to give
his wife such a house in which none of his relatives nor any of her relatives
reside”.
Radddul Muhtaar, after narrating various versions in this
regard, states: “It is Waajib to provide a moderate house for a wealthy and
honorable wife.”
However, an exception is where a house has been inherited
by several brothers who have subdivided the house, each one living (separately)
in his own section, but the rights and duties of the building being common to
them all.
Moreover, in a Hadith reported by Hakim bin Mu’awiya
al-Qushairi, he quoted his father as telling that he asked: “O Messenger of
God, what right can any wife demand of her husband?’’ He replied, “That you
should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, not
strike her on the face, and do not revile her or separate from her except in
the house.” [This command tallies with the Quran injunction as stated in
Surah An-Nisa 4: 35]. (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah)
It is not lawful to obey parents if they order their
children to discard an act or duty which is obligatory on them (children)
according to the Shariah. Obedience in such cases of conflict is not at all
permissible, leave alone the idea of obedience to them being incumbent in these
cases where their orders violate the Shariah.
The following cases come within the boundary of this rule:
1.
If a man’s financial condition is such that if
he provides assistances to his parents from his money (i.e. parents who are not
in need and living in his own house), his wife and children will be reduced to
misery. His income is not sufficient to provide for his parents as well as his
family. In this case it is not permissible for the man to impose hardship on
his wife and children by spending on his parents. - The application of this
rule is in relation to necessities and not luxuries. Moreover, even if the
parents are not living with him, but are in need; then the providing for the basic
necessary requirements of his parents becomes incumbent upon him.
2.
It is a right of the wife that she demands (if
she so wishes) to live apart from the parents and relatives of the husband.
Thus, should the wife invoke this right and the parents insist that they (their
son and daughter-in-law) live together with them (parents), it will not be
permissible for the husband to accede to the command of the parents in this
case. It is Waajib (obligatory) in this case of conflicting demands to
give to the wife a separate place of residence.
3.
If parents prevent their children from setting
out from Umrah, Hajj and the acquisition of necessary Ilm (that amount
of Deeni knowledge which is obligatory on one), then it is not
permissible to obey their wishes.
4.
It is not permissible to obey parents in anything
which is unlawful in the Shariah; e.g. they order that the children take
up such employment which is not lawful in Islam or they wish their children to
participate in unlawful function, gatherings, customs and bid’ah [innovations].
Now concerning the rule pertaining to such acts which are permissible;
acts which are neither obligatory nor prohibited. If parents command their
children to render or to abstain from permissible acts, then the circumstances
will have to be taken into consideration. If one is dependent on something and
refraining therefrom will mean hardship, then obeying one’s parents who refuse
permission, will not be incumbent. One is then allowed to embark on the task.
Example: A poor man who is unable to find employment
locally decides to travel elsewhere to seek his livelihood, but his parents
refuse permission for him to go. In this case it is not obligatory for him to
obey the wishes of the parents.
However, if the intended work (i.e. which is permissible)
is not essential and one is not dependent on it or there is great danger
involved in doing it or due to the son’s absence the parents will be put to
hardship because of no suitable arrangements being possible for their care,
then it is not permissible to oppose the wishes of the parents, e.g.
participation in a non-obligatory war, or a sea voyage or departing without
being able to make arrangements for the care of the parents. In this case, the
journey being not essential, it is obligatory to obey the parents. On the
contrary, if there is neither any danger in the journey nor will the son’s
departure bring about hardship upon his parents since adequate arrangements
exist, then it will be permissible to participate in that work or journey even
if parents oppose. Although, it is permissible, nevertheless, it will still be Mustahab
[recommended] to respect their wishes in this case too. The following examples
will come within the scope of this rule.
Parents wish their son to divorce his wife without having any real ground, it is not
obligatory in this case to obey the parents.
If parents order that the son hand over his entire earnings
to them, it is not obligatory for him to obey their wishes in this regard.
Should parents compel their children to hand over their (children’s) earnings,
they (parents) will be sinful. The Hadith stating that “You and your wealth
belong to your father”, applies to times of need as explained earlier.
Should the father take from the son’s wealth more than his
basic requirements, it will be a debt on him (father). Such debt can be claimed
from the father. If he refuses to pay in this world, he will have to pay in the
Hereafter.
So, in every situation of the believer and the share of the
rights of his loved ones, there should be a just balance in which all rights
are respected and cared for. May Allah help all Muslims and especially my
disciples to reflect the true Islam in them and practice good and teach the
sweetness of the teachings of Islam to others. Insha-Allah, Ameen.