In the second discourse, Hazrat
Khalifatullah (aba) explains sacred teachings of the Holy Prophet (sa) on marriage-related questions that emerged in the life and times of the pious companions. The discourse clearly affirms that it is illegal to marry off a woman against her will. Parents or guardians cannot
coerce a Muslim woman into a marriage she dislikes. And free consent is a condition
precedent to the legal validity of a Muslim marriage. Hazrat
Saheb (aba) also notes that Muslim men are not allowed to wear gold ornaments. The believers need to keep in mind the Shari’ah-compliance
of cultural traditions associated with marriage rites in their local
communities. The principle is illustrated with reference to the exchange of engagement rings as a symbol of the marital
commitment.
Read extracts
from the two Friday Sermons Below:
Marriage:
an act of worship. The conservation of life and its continuation until
Judgement Day are part of the teachings of Islam and that is why it encouraged
marriage and preferred that the couple after becoming parents and children,
they have grandchildren.
"Allah has given you from yourselves wives, and from your wives gave you children and grandchildren. And He gave you good things." (16:73)
Based
on this principle, Islam denies the monastic life. Indeed, the thread of life
comes to a halt for the monk or nun and the spectre of annihilation makes its
appearance. If this form of worship was widespread and that people engaged in
the monastic life that they themselves have invented, it would mean "the
suicide of humanity and the destruction of the world!"
It is
therefore not surprising that Islam considers marriage an act of worship
whereby the relief of desires under its legal frame is an act of worship for
which the individual is rewarded. Also in the Hadith the Holy prophet (peace be
upon him) says: "Whoever wishes to meet Allah pure and cleansed is to marry
virtuous women." And also, "Four things, that if someone gets them,
gets the good of this world and beyond: a grateful heart, a tongue full of
invocations (to God), a body facing tough trials, and a wife who earns him no
sin vis-a-vis herself or vis-a-vis his property." As the body facing tough
trials, according to me, it is the strong body that honours its burdens and
obligations, without fatigue or defeatism. Virility takes it to anything other
than endurance?
The
question that deserves a measured response is: What woman would a Muslim marry?
We must know that marriage is not a union in order to increase massive animalistic
reproduction. The family in Islam is a continuation of life and virtue
simultaneously! It is an equal extension of faith and prosperity. The purpose
is not to give birth to generations knowing how to eat, drink and have fun. It
is rather to give birth to generations who realise the mission of life, parents
helping each other to educate children of sound mind and heart, noble in their
behaviour and goals.
Meditate
on the position of the father of prophets, Ibrahim (on him be peace) after that
God has given him children. He said:
"Praise
be to Allah, who despite nay old age, gave me Ismail and Isaac. Certainly, nay
Lord hears well prayers. O my Lord! Make me one who establishes regular Prayer
and a section of my offspring; hear my prayer, O our Lord!" (14:40-41).
He
wanted children who bow down and worship God! How ugly it is for one to
generate depraved children and atheists. Today there are many people on earth
who do not care at all about the children they give birth to! That their
children live in disbelief or in faith does not matter. What is important for
them is raising them for material life, so that finally they shall be used as
fuel for the fire!
We,
Muslims, reject this mindset and consider the one who does this as an animal
regardless of his apparent characteristics. Moreover, among the invocations of
the servants of the Merciful when they choose their spouses and are setting up
their home, there is the following prayer: "Lord, give us from our wives
and our offspring joy and tranquility of the eyes and make us a guide for the
righteous." (25:75)
The
eye which wanders from one face to the other is a traitorous eye who leads its
owner to loss! Both spouses must be the joy and tranquility for one another and
must get used to it and resign themselves to this tranquility. Afterwards the
spouses support each other to then educate their children and ensure their
present and future.
If the door of the rivalry in the execution of good deeds is wide open, therefore the Muslim must be ever ready and determined to have high expectations (to do good and excel in it). He must become a guide whom one follows and he must not be lazy and be relegated to subordinate positions. Having a strong commitment is part of faith and God loves those who seek the Firdaws, the greater Paradise. Starting a Muslim home requires great efforts and much prayer.
Free Consent: 'Marry who you want'
A man
married a woman against her will but had the consent of the parents of the
latter; he spent a large dowry on her. Nevertheless, she fled. Must she return
back the husband's money? What becomes then of this marriage?
It is
illegal to marry a woman against her will, by forcing her into it or going
ahead with it without her consent. Indeed, Islam granted the woman the right to
choose her husband, at least to consent to it for it is she who will become his
companion and his half in their life together. Then how can we then impose a
man whom she refuses? According to a Hadith, the Holy Prophet (peace be upon
him) said: "The woman who has been once married has more right on herself
than her legal representative (Wali). And the virgin girl has to agree to her
marriage; she can express agreement with her silence."
The
question came: "O Messenger of God, how do we know she consents?"
He
said: "When she remains silent."
A
third Hadith says: "If she remains silent, it means she agrees. And if she
refuses, she should not be forced (into marriage)."
It is
also reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) annulled the
marriage contract of a woman helper (Ansariyya) by the name of Al-Khansa Bint
Khidham because her father had married her against her will. Her hand in
marriage had actually been requested by two men, the first being the noble
companion Abu Lubabah Ibn Al-Mundhir and the second being a man of her clan.
The woman preferred Abu Lubabah, while her father wanted her to marry the
second one, and without her consent married her off to the man of their tribe.
Al-Khansa then went to Hazrat Muhammad (peace be upon him) and complained to
him in these words: "O Messenger of God, my father has gone beyond his
limits with me and married me regardless of my refusal." Hazrat Muhammad
(peace be upon him) said: "Her marriage is void. Marry who you want."
According
to another version, Al-Khansa said: "My father got married me to his
nephew, despite my refusal." The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"You can now endorse (accept) what your father has done." She
replied: "But I do not like what my father has done." The Holy
Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Go, her marriage is invalid. Marry who
you want."
She
continued to say: "I now accept what my father has done. Nevertheless, I
wanted people to know that it does not belong to the parents to force their
daughters to marry anyone."
According
to Abbas Ibn Abd 'Allah (May Allah be pleased with him), the Messenger of Allah
(peace be upon him) annulled the marriage of a virgin and that of a woman who
was once married before, after their father had married them against their
will. The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) then decided that their marriage was
void. We deduce from all this that the marriage mentioned in the original
question is invalid and that the dowry should be returned back to the husband.
Engagement
Ring
Another
question: "Is the engagement ring permissible in Islam? The engagement
ring or wedding ring has its history dating thousands of years back. Some
people say that the Pharaohs were the first to have invented it even before the
Greeks had had a clue about it. Others say it is due to an old custom still
observed today. This custom was to bind the husband and wife together with
chains and raise the bridegroom on a horse, pulling his wife behind him to
their house; this may represent the distance between two houses.
Later, people prefer to wear a ring rather than being bound by chains. Wearing an engagement ring in the left hand is an old custom of the Greeks who believed that the circulation of blood to the aorta was through this area. It later emerged that the British also enjoyed wearing engagement rings. In fact, they considered that this custom was purely Christian.
If the
ring is steel, there is nothing wrong for a man or a woman to wear it, but if
the ring is gold, only women can wear it but not men. (Tirmidhi)
Tirmidhi
relates in a chain of authentic narration that the Holy Prophet (peace be upon
him) said. "The wearing of gold is
forbidden for Muslim men but it is permitted for women."
According
to a Hadith narrated by Muslim, the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) forbade
men to wear gold rings. It is also reported that when the Holy Prophet (peace
be upon him) saw a man wearing a gold ring, he immediately removed it from his
hand and threw it and then said: "Would one of you like to carry ember in
his hand..."
May Allah help us to understand the true teachings of Islam and put it into practice, Insha-Allah.