After the exclusive worship of Allah, Allah
teaches us that we must treat our mother and father well. This remains one of
the principal duties of a Muslim. And this subject cannot be treated only once,
but several times, to make children aware of their responsibility towards their
parents. The Qur’an has made this very clear:
“And your Lord has decreed:
‘Worship Him alone, and treat your father and mother well.’”
(Bani Isra’il 17: 24)
Therefore, kindness towards parents remains among the greatest duties. This verse shows that Allah has placed respect and gentleness towards parents immediately after divine worship. A person can never ignore this truth that his father and mother, humanly speaking, are both the source of his life, and their sacrifices deserve unlimited recognition.
Parents sacrifice much to raise their children.
A mother suffers the pains of pregnancy and childbirth; she watches over her
child night and day, and she nurses him for two years. The first education a
child receives is from his mother herself. That mother, if she is pious, if she
gives him a living example of Islam by her own conduct, then she gives her
child one of the greatest treasures that exist, where she provides him with a
solid education and opens the path of success for him both on this earth and in
the Hereafter.
Allah says: “We
have enjoined upon mankind to be good to his parents. His mother carried him
with hardship and weaned him for two years. [So] Give thanks to Me and to your
parents also. And it is to Me that you will return.” (Luqman 31: 15)
This divine word shows that a mother, and even
a father, deserves unlimited respect from their child. Nowadays we see that
when a child grows up, very often he loses his attachment to his parents; he
forgets what they have done for him, and he takes it for granted, thinking that
his parents were obliged to look after him. But when the time comes for him to
look after his parents, he hesitates, he takes it as a burden, and he does not
see the inestimable value of his parents. At that moment, when his parents need
him, he turns his back on them. He rather listens to the bad advice of his
wife; and very often if that child is a daughter, then her husband discourages
her from taking care of her parents.
Often, with the influence of others who came
much later into his life, a child forgets his fundamental duty towards those
parents who did everything for him since he was a helpless infant. Now, when
parents enter old age, when they reach the stage where they need their child to
look after them, those children turn their backs on them. This is not the law
of Islam at all. Islam tells you that you must look after your parents – come
what may – even if your parents do not share the same faith as you. But you, as
a true believer, must look after your parents as a child’s duty and as a human
being, you must show kindness. The only permission Allah gives you, as a true
believer, is that if your parents order you not to worship Allah, to turn your
back on Islam, on the truth, then you must not obey them; but still, you must
continue to show kindness and good feeling towards your parents and look after
them well. In your good treatment of them lies the image of true Islam.
Therefore, a child, whether young, adolescent
or adult, must never show insolence towards his parents. Nowadays, Alhamdulillah,
many households understand the importance of “co-parenting” where each one
gives a good helping hand to look after the children, where many fathers see
how their wives are tired, since most women today also have jobs outside, and
so they show compassion – just as our beloved Prophet (pbuh) taught – where
they look after their wives well and their children, and they do not see it as
a shame to look after their children.
But children who grow up in this good
understanding must not take it for granted and when their turn comes one day to
look after their parents, they must not turn their backs on them, nor let
themselves be influenced by the bad influence of their spouses to show
insolence and disobedience towards what Allah has commanded them concerning
their parents.
One must remember that a mother has her value
and a father also has his value. Both, whether working outside or staying at
home, make great efforts to raise their children. Nowadays, prices have soared,
and especially in this state of war in which we are, where there is a shortage
of gas, petrol, diesel, and where a global recession threatens to engulf the
world, it is very important that a child understands the difficulties of his
parents.
In times when money loses value, when inflation
is everywhere, when the price of commodities has doubled or even tripled, when
household gas is sold on quota, then a child must open his conscience and be
receptive to the needs and difficulties of his parents. A true Muslim is one
who understands the situation and does not complicate it more than it already
is. All children who are old enough to understand what is happening in the
world, I tell them: look after your parents, not only physically, but
psychologically. Boost their morale, and do not make unnecessary demands that
you know may cause worry to your parents. Learn to study the situation in the
country and in the world, and act with wisdom and kindness. A child who is old
enough to understand, if he sees that his parents are having much difficulty
managing their household, then he should not ask his parents to buy him
secondary things that are not of primary necessity.
Therefore, remember well, that a mother and
father together are the pillars of the family.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) taught the
value of kindness within the family. In a Hadith reported by Bukhari, he (pbuh)
said about a believer that he must: “Perform the Salat at its time, then be
good and devoted to his parents.”
As you notice here, kindness towards parents
comes immediately after Salat (prayer), which is an obligation towards Allah.
In another Hadith, Hazrat Muhammad (pbuh) enumerated three qualities of a true
believer: gentleness towards those who are weak, kindness towards servants,
affection towards parents. Whoever practices this will have an easy death and
an entry into Paradise, Insha-Allah. In another Hadith – if I am not
mistaken, it is found in Tirmidhi – Hazrat Muhammad (pbuh) said: “The
pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the parents, and His anger is in their
anger.” This shows the direct relationship between respect towards parents
and divine satisfaction.
Therefore, a child must never utter a
disrespectful word towards his parents, not even an “uff” of discontent.
There must not be looks of contempt, nor hurtful words. The voice must be
gentle, the words comforting, especially when parents become old and their
health weakens. Honouring father and mother is an act of worship, because in
Islam it must be done with the intention of pleasing Allah.
When parents become old – as I was saying earlier
– the role of a child changes. It is a time to show compassion, patience,
tolerance and love. It is not a time to neglect them, but a time to support
them morally and physically. Parents have sacrificed much – a sacrifice that
cannot be counted on fingers or by calculator – to raise their children. They
do their best to give their children a good academic education to help them get
a stable job, and good parents who have fear of Allah give their children first
a solid education of the Deen (Islam) so that their Deen brings
them closer to Allah and inclines them more towards Allah than towards this
temporary world. Good children return this favour of their parents with
gratitude and affection.
A mother deserves a special place in her
child’s life. She carried that child as long as Allah allowed her to carry him,
sometimes a little less than nine months and sometimes a little more than nine
months. That mother suffered pains, nursed him, educated him morally,
Islamically, and even academically, and that mother encouraged him to remain
always firm in his love for Allah, and to know how to distinguish between good
and evil. As for fathers, they are the pillar of their family, where there are
households also where only the father works, and therefore, all the
responsibility of his household, of their financial security falls upon him.
Therefore, he too is very important for his family, for his wife, for his
children and also for his parents who have become old and who depend on his
kindness, compassion and generosity.
Therefore, parents have this role of being an
example of kindness, wisdom and Islam in general in their home. Children, when
they are born and grow up, take their parents as models. Therefore, it is
imperative that parents reflect true Islam in their home so that their child
grows up in an Islamic atmosphere, an atmosphere of security, compassion and
also discipline.
In daily life, kindness towards parents takes
several forms: a gentle word, a smile, a service rendered to one’s parents, a
personal sacrifice to relieve the suffering of one’s father and mother. When a
child practises this, he attracts the mercy and pleasure of Allah upon him.
When he neglects or mistreats his parents, he attracts the anger of Allah upon
him. Islam teaches that kindness towards parents is a path to Paradise. Whoever
honours his father and mother will reap blessings in this world and eternal
reward in the Hereafter, Insha-Allah.
In society, respect towards parents brings
stability. A child who honours his father and mother develops a noble
character, gains blessings in work, and earns respect in the community. A child
who mistreats his parents attracts the curse of Allah upon him, loses blessings,
and faces difficulties in his life.
A practical example of this is when a father or
mother asks a service of their child; the child must respond with gentleness.
He must not say “I am busy”; on the contrary, he must respond positively
and say “I will help you.” When a mother is tired, a child who is old
enough to be able to help his parents at home must know how to prepare food and
give his mother rest. Cooking is not a shame for a boy. He must not say, “Oh,
that is only girls’ work!” No! A boy who knows how to cope with all
situation and manage his life, in any situation that may befall him tomorrow –
if he happens to be alone in a situation, or he is in another country, or he is
not yet married – this will help him to meet his needs, to survive. When he
knows how to cook, do household work and even work to earn an income, this
brings admiration and pride from his parents upon him and not shame.
When one of his parents is ill, a child,
whether boy or girl, must accompany his parents to the hospital or to the
doctor and support them morally. These small actions bring great reward.
On the other hand, if a child mistreats his
parents, he attracts the anger of Allah. The Qur’an and Hadiths both condemn
mistreatment of parents. Islam teaches that respect towards parents is a
protection against misfortune.
Therefore, kindness towards parents is a sacred
obligation, an act of worship, a path to Paradise. A father and mother deserve
respect, affection and unlimited recognition from their children. Whoever acts
rightly in this duty will reap the satisfaction of Allah and an eternal reward.
When Islam teaches that after Tawhid, respect towards parents becomes
the priority, there is wisdom in this, because today it is your parents who
have looked after you, and tomorrow it will be you who will become parents, and
the role will continue in the same way. So, if you treat your parents well, you
will get their duahs and blessings upon you, and not their badduahs
(curses); then those blessings will follow you in your turn when your children
grow up and they, having observed you throughout your life, will treat you with
the same kindness.
Therefore, spread goodness. Show a good example
for posterity, so that this goodness continues and that parents from generation
to generation receive these blessings. A child who understands this truth will
gain peace in this world and felicity in the Hereafter as well. Insha-Allah, Ameen.
---Friday Sermon of 10 April 2026~ 21 Shawwal 1447 AH delivered by Imam- Jamaat Ul Sahih Al Islam International Hazrat Muhyiuddin Al Khalifatullah Munir Ahmad Azim (aba) of Mauritius.