Coping with Grief and Loss

 

The Good Manners/ Deeds When Hearing About the Death of Someone 

Hearing the news of the death of a loved one is certainly not easy for anyone with its share of sadness and grief, in addition to the preparations for the funeral. Having the right reflexes is not always easy in such a situation. I put before you today eight good things to do in these difficult times when someone dies.

Speak Well of the Dead Person

When learning of someone’s death, it is recommended to speak well of that person about the actions he did for the pleasure of Allah. At the same time, one must avoid speaking “good” [so-called good things] about his actions which were not done for the pleasure of Allah [in other words, there are those types of people who speak badly of the actions of a deceased, and they pretend not to know that what they said was not correct. They will say that on the contrary they were saying “good” for the deceased]. 

For example, avoid saying, “What a good card player he was!” Or “This person sang well”. The actions of playing cards and singing [songs that have nothing to do with Islam] are both in themselves Haram (prohibited) actions. So, pretending to flatter the deceased that he was a good card player or a good singer, it is certainly not a good thing or an honour for the deceased. So we must avoid all of this. 

It is reported by Hazrat Anas (ra): “When passing near a funeral procession and hearing the men praising the deceased, the prophet (pbuh) said three times: ‘It is assured [for him]’ [That is to say, the praise on the good deeds of the deceased will have all their importance and honour before the eyes of Allah in his favour].