The Good Manners/ Deeds When Hearing About the Death of Someone
Speak Well of the Dead Person
When learning of someone’s death, it is recommended to speak well of that person about the actions he did for the pleasure of Allah. At the same time, one must avoid speaking “good” [so-called good things] about his actions which were not done for the pleasure of Allah [in other words, there are those types of people who speak badly of the actions of a deceased, and they pretend not to know that what they said was not correct. They will say that on the contrary they were saying “good” for the deceased].
For example, avoid saying, “What a good card player he was!” Or “This person sang well”. The actions of playing cards and singing [songs that have nothing to do with Islam] are both in themselves Haram (prohibited) actions. So, pretending to flatter the deceased that he was a good card player or a good singer, it is certainly not a good thing or an honour for the deceased. So we must avoid all of this.
It is reported by Hazrat Anas (ra): “When passing near a funeral procession and hearing the men praising the deceased, the prophet (pbuh) said three times: ‘It is assured [for him]’ [That is to say, the praise on the good deeds of the deceased will have all their importance and honour before the eyes of Allah in his favour].
Hazrat Anas (ra) continues: “When passing by another [funeral] procession and hearing the men speak ill of the deceased, the prophet (pbuh) repeated three times: ‘It is assured [for him]’” [That is, say, these bad words about the bad deeds of the deceased will testify [will be] against him before Allah].”
Hazrat Umar (ra) said to him: “May I sacrifice for you [my] father and mother! Why when we passed by a funeral procession and you heard people praise the deceased, you repeated three times: It is assured [for him]’?”
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) replied: “To him whom you have praised, paradise is assured; to that other you spoke ill of, hell is assured [for him]. You are the witnesses of Allah on earth. Allah has angels who through the tongue of the children of Adam speak good or bad about a person.” [Muslim, Al-Mustadrak]
And the praises of
those who carry the most weight on someone who is dead are those of his neighbours.
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: “Not a Muslim dies having in his favour
the testimony of three [and in another version, four] houses of his near
neighbourhood, without Allah saying: ‘Certainly, I accept the testimony of My
servants as to what they know about him and I have forgiven him what I know
about him’.” [Ahmad, Al-Mustadrak]
Be
Patient/ Steadfast
Whatever happens, we have to be patient with the decisions made by Allah. Allah says in Surah Al-Baqara, Verses 156-158:
And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, who, when faced with a disaster, say, ‘Surely to Allah we belong and to Him we will (all) return.’ Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is they who are (rightly) guided.
It is narrated by Hazrat Anas Ibn Malik (ra): “Once the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) passed by a woman who was crying over the grave of her child who had just died. The prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said to her: ‘Fear Allah and be patient [show patience]’. She replied (not knowing who was talking to her): ‘What do you know about my distress?’”
When the prophet
Muhammad (pbuh) had left, she was told: “This was the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).
(Hearing this), it was as if death had come upon her; she went to his house
[…], and said to him in this sense: ‘O Messenger of Allah (pbuh), I did not
recognize you’. The prophet (pbuh) told her: “Patience is expressed in the
first sorrow.’ [That is, from the start when sadness/ sorrow/ trial strikes].
Invoke Allah in his Favour
Among the invocations to do:
1.
Innaa Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi Raaji’oun – “We belong to Allah and it is to Him that
we will return”.
2.
Allahumma jurnii fii Muswiibatii Wa Akhlif lii Khayram Minhaa - “O Allah! Reward me in my misfortune and
replace it with the best!”
It is narrated by
Umm-e-Salamah (ra): “I heard the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) say: ‘Whenever
one who is touched by a trial says: ‘It is to Allah that we we belong and it
is to Him that we will return. O Lord Allah! Give me wages [rewards] for my
misfortune and give me something better in compensation!’ Allah gives him
wages [rewards] for his misfortune and compensates him with something better.”
'Say that the Prophet (sa) himself is no longer of this
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
taught us that when something bad happens to us, think of him leaving this
world so that this can reassure us and ease our suffering. Moreover, in a
Hadith, he (pbuh) said: “If any misfortune touches one of you, let him think
of the misfortune that would affect him by his death [i.e. this person’s own
death]. It is among the greatest of misfortunes.” [Daarmi].
It is Allowed to Cry [Silently]
It is narrated by Abu Huraira (ra): “When Ibrahim, the son of the Messenger of Allah died, Usaamah Ibn Zayd began to lament [he cried out loud]. So Allah’s Messenger said to him: ‘This is not part of me, and shouting is not a right [of a Muslim believer].’”
“The eyes cry, the heart is sad, and we do not say what our Lord hates.” [Al Mustadrak, Kanzul-Ummal]
It is also reported by
Aisha (ra): “The Prophet (pbuh) kissed Uthman Ibn Mazhun upon his death,
until I saw tears streaming down his face.” [Baihaqi]
Repaying His Debts
When a person dies, his
debts must be paid off first with his own money. If the person who died does
not have the necessary means to repay his debts, someone cannot just say: “If
he owed anybody, let him [the creditor] come and see me.” It is necessary
that when the person comes to collect his due [the repayment of his debts], the
person who had given his word must honour his word and repay the debt of that
deceased person, and this is the true repayment. The prophet (pbuh) also said, “The
soul of the believer hangs onto his debt until it is paid.” [Tirmidhi]
Do Not Delay His Burial
The prophet (pbuh) said: “Hurry up with regard to the funeral, because if the deceased was a virtuous person, then it is a good that you will bring him and if the deceased was not a virtuous person, it is then an evil that you will remove from your shoulders.” [Bukhari, Muslim].
This does not mean,
however, that one must get rid of the body as quickly as possible at all costs,
but [one must] simply follow the recommendations of the prophet (pbuh).
Do Not Lament/ Cry Out Loud
When someone dies, we can cry with grief. But excessive crying, that is, lamenting, is forbidden in Islam. This action also has repercussions on the deceased. The prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: “Certainly the deceased is punished in his grave because of the lamentations that people make over him.” [Bukhari].
“She [i.e. the person (especially women)] who laments, if she does not repent before her death, will be resurrected on the day of judgement, wearing a garment of tar and a breastplate of scabies.” [Muslim]
“There are two things
people do that are an act of disbelief: insulting someone’s family and yelling at
someone’s death.” [Muslim].
If a person knows in advance that at his death his relatives will lament [at his death/ funeral], then he should warn them against this, and educate them on what Islam - the Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) – advocates, just as I have enlightened you through these Hadiths. The person may have seen them in this situation before [at other funerals of other loved ones lamenting [screaming and crying].
Abdullah Ibn’ul Mubarak
[a great Imam, a follower of the Ta’beins] said: “If during his lifetime he
prevented them [that is to say, he prevented his relatives from lamenting], but
after his death they did it anyway, he will incur no punishment [for that].”
[Fath’ul-Baari].
The Death of a Child
He whose child dies, great rewards awaits him. It is reported by Hazrat Qurrah Al-Mazani (ra): “A companion once came to the prophet with his son. The prophet asked him, ‘Do you love him?’ The companion replied, ‘May Allah love you as much as I love him.’
A few days later, the prophet (pbuh) noticed the absence of this companion and inquired about him from his men [companions] and was told that his son had died.
The prophet (pbuh) summoned him and asked him, “Wouldn’t you like him [i.e. your son] to enter Heaven before you and open one of its doors for you?” [Nasai]
This person then
preferred losing his child in this world, but that his son receive paradise and
that each time he comes to open the gates of paradise for him [i.e. his father].
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) assured him that his choice was granted to him
by Allah. And Hazrat Muhammad (pbuh) made it clear that this does not apply
only to this companion, but to all believers. [Nasai, Ibn Majah, Ahmad,
Al-Hakim]
In another Hadith, the
Prophet (pbuh) said: “Five things are very heavy in the balance: ‘Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Laa Illaaha Illal-Allah,
Allahu Akbar’, [and among them is also:] the pious child of a
Muslim who dies and is patient in his death.” [Ahmad].
So death is reserved
for all humans. Allah and His Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (pbuh) gave clear
guidance on how to behave and what to say when one of us - Muslims - dies. May
Allah help all Muslims to know the importance of respecting a deceased person,
and to speak good of him, and do everything to make his path to the Hereafter easier,
and this you can do as the witnesses of Allah on earth, through your words,
your behaviour and the duahs [invocations] that you make for this
deceased person. Insha-Allah Ta’ala Al-Aziz. May Allah accept our good
intentions and deeds and grant us a death pleasing to Him when the time comes
to leave this world. Insha-Allah, Ameen.
---Friday Sermon of 12 November 2021~ 06 Rabi’ul Aakhir 1443 AH delivered by Imam- Jamaat Ul Sahih Al Islam Hazrat Khalifatullah Munir A. Azim (aba) of Mauritius.